


Too Good at Goodbyes

by Hope4thehopeless



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Unplanned Pregnancy, marriage issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 05:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12599572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hope4thehopeless/pseuds/Hope4thehopeless
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be this way...they were supposed to be happy...together...





	Too Good at Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Angsty stories I've been reading in the Stannis/Sansa Fandom...I don’t think that this was edited well at all, any error is my own. Sorry! Enjoy!

**Too Good at Goodbyes**

_"...But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry_  
_And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry_  
_And every time you walk out, the less I love you._  
_Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it's sad but it's true..."_

~ “Too Good at Goodbyes” – Sam Smith

* * *

Sansa hugged her knees to her chest in the master bathtub of her townhouse. She was successful, an accomplished author, and she'd won numerous awards already. At twenty-five, she had a life that plenty would envy and yet, she felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness filling her. It was true, she had a life that plenty could envy, but none of it mattered if she couldn't share it with the man that she wanted and he'd just announced to her that he was going back to his wife of ten years. Sansa blinked back tears as she tried to not think about his words hours before…

_…They were standing in the middle of her kitchen. Two plates had been set at the island bar in the center of the spacious kitchen. Two empty champagne flutes were beside the tossed salad and freshly grilled chicken, Stannis's favorite. Sansa stood still in her oversized sweater and soft lounge pants as he watched him. He'd gotten caught in the downpour that had just erupted outside and from the look on his face, she knew that whatever he wanted to talk about was serious. Had something happened to his brother, Robert? She knew that Baratheon Banking was recovering from a financial scare that had happened in response to a Lannister scandal involving the disclosure that Robert's children were not his own. The scandal had rocked the markets, but industry was recovering as Robert's divorce from Cersei Lannister was being finalized. Tywin Lannister had surprised many by using his gold to back the banking system to bring about calm before true panic could set in. Even if there was something wrong with Baratheon Banking, there would be little that Stannis could do about it. He was pediatric cardiologist, not a banker. He fixed little hearts, not financial problems. Although, Sansa suspected that Stannis was quite clever at banking. He’d come from a family of bankers, he had to know something about money because Robert seemed to enjoy relying on him for advice._

_"Is everything okay?" Sansa asked softly as she stepped forward to help Stannis out of his wet trench coat, but he stepped back out of her reach. He didn't say anything. He simply ran a hand though his dark, wet hair. Gray was beginning to show around his temples and she'd found that part of the attraction to him, she supposed. Stannis placed his hands on his narrow hips, and looked down at his dress shoes for a moment before looking back at her with his stormy, gray eyes. The serious look in his eyes scared her, more than she was ready to admit and her hands slightly trembled. Attempting to hide that fact, Sansa wrapped her arms around her body and waited._

_They stood in silence for several minutes before she cleared her throat, "You can tell me anything. I won't be mad, Stannis. We can get through whatever it is together."_

_"We can't," he said automatically in a gravelly voice and she frowned at him, uncomprehending what he was saying. She stepped closer to him in the large kitchen, suddenly cold and wanting to be in his arms. His arms were where she felt safe and secure and in that moment, she needed to feel those things. Her heart was sinking to her stomach and all thought of her own news was forgotten._

_"Can't what?" Sansa asked softly, afraid that she already knew the answer. It felt hard to breathe and she refused to be weak in that moment. He looked at her with an unreadable expression and nothing could prepare her for what he said next._

_"Selyse is pregnant," Stannis confessed. "I can't leave her and my child for you. I'm sorry."_

_Sansa thought she'd known pain up until that moment, but she'd been wrong. It felt like a blow to the chest and it had taken her breath away. For nearly a year, they'd been together and he'd never even mentioned his wife. Selyse and Stannis had only one child, a daughter named Shireen that had passed away two years before from a rare form of gray scale. It had been devastating, but even before the death of their daughter, Stannis had been planning to leave Selyse. They had agreed to put off separating while Shireen was sick, their goal being supporting their daughter no matter what._

_Even after Shireen's death, Stannis had not divorced Selyse. While he'd drowned himself in work, Selyse had become a religious fanatic in her attempts to cope with her daughter's death. It was their meeting and relationship that had prompted Stannis to renew the divorce petition with the courts. Now, Sansa let out a shaky breath trying to understand what exactly had happened to ruin the course that her life was on._

_"How?" She demanded in a shaky breath. "When?"_

_"The fundraiser a few weeks before," Stannis confessed in a hard, detached voice. "She...we were talking about Shireen and one thing led to another and it happened."_  
_Crossing her arms tightly, Sansa pressed her lips together and nodded. She understood that it had been a moment of weakness. Hell, being with Stannis had happened in a moment of weakness. But this? The results of that weakness was impossible to comprehend. She heard his words, but her mind was in shock and numbly, it was impossible to understand. It hurt to know that he’d slept with Selyse. It hurt even more to know that they had conceived a child. He moved away from her suddenly and desperately, Sansa followed him out of the kitchen and down the wide hallway to the foyer._

_"Can't I change your mind at all?" Sansa demanded reaching out for him and grabbing his arm as they stood together in the silence of her home. Stannis looked down at her hand and when he touched her, she felt the same warmth that she always felt fill her. His touch made her feel alive and it was something that she'd begun to crave and need daily._

_"Don't," he murmured. "Don't make this any more difficult than this already is."_

_“This isn’t hard,” Sansa breathed, her voice breaking as tears gathered in her eyes. “Knowing that I’ve had to share you with Selyse, that’s hard. Making up excuse after excuse to myself as to why you still hadn’t left her, that’s hard. This…this is indescribable.”_

_“Sansa…”_

_There was warning in his voice and she ignored it. The numbness was gone and she remembered why she’d bought a bottle of champagne. It was like being hit by a freight train and the pain that she hadn’t felt earlier was building unbearably in her chest._

_"I love you," Sansa cried, not holding back the tears. "Doesn't that mean anything? I love you. I know that you love me. We have shared a life and you're tossing it all away."_

_He ground his teeth for a moment before he looked down at her with the same unreadable expression he’d worn since their conversation began._

_"For the chance to have another child," Stannis snapped so harshly that Sansa flinched. "I've already lost one child. I can't lose another. I can't have every other weekend. I can't have some silly routine that I share with Selyse. I want to be there for every moment. I want to share every moment with this baby. I can't have both you and that baby. It doesn't work that way. This is goodbye...Selyse knows about us. We've agreed to raise our family together and we...have conditions. She stops going to the Lord of Light cult thing and I promised to not see you again."_

_Sansa felt as though someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over her as he walked towards her again. Her legs felt unsteady and she sank onto the bottom step of her stairs. He crouched down and cupped her face with his cool hands. His thumbs brushed away her tears, but it only made her cry more._

_“Don’t leave us,” she whispered, closing her eyes, involuntarily relaxing into his gentle touch. “Please. Please, Stannis, stay and let me tell you what I have to tell you. Please, don’t leave.”_

_She whimpered when he let go of her and stood. Looking up at him, she was half heart broken when he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head before he pulled himself away from her. He crossed the foyer and dropped the spare key that she’d given him to the front door in the pink glass bowl and walked out of her life..._

Standing up from the tub, Sansa grabbed the white towel that was close and dried herself before looking down at the pregnancy test that she'd taken earlier in the day. The positive sign taunted her and lifting it off the counter, she tossed it into the small rubbish bin beside the sink. He and Selyse would raise their child and she’d raise her child because that was what this baby was, her child. It wasn’t his child. He’d turned his back on her without even listening. He wanted Selyse and their child more than he wanted her and she would live with that. There was no other choice. Draining the water from the tub, Sansa wrapped herself in her plush robe and walked into her dark bedroom. She could hear the city outside, but she wanted to simply curl up under the covers and hide from the world for as long as she could.

It wasn't fair.

None of it was fair.

Stannis was going back to Selyse and she wanted to curl up and die from her grief. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, she picked up her smartphone and looked at the locked screen picture, a picture of them at a much happier time. There were several messages from Renly, her editor and quickly, she sent him a message that she had decided to take a vacation like he’d been encouraging her to do. A few minutes later, her phone chimed with a message from Renly, happy with her decision.  
Putting the phone down, Sansa couldn’t stop the new tears that were falling down her cheek. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore. It was like her chest had been cracked open and Stannis had poured acid over her heart. The stinging would go away and she told herself that she couldn’t believe how foolish she was to believe that he’d ever truly leave Selyse. He believed in duty and marriage was a commitment that he wouldn’t walk away from him. She should have known before she’d gone and kissed him. He was never hers to have and that realization hurt even more than his words. The only thing he’d given her was a small piece of himself that was growing under her heart and silently, Sansa promised herself that she’d be enough for this child. She’d give enough love, she’d give every part of her heart to love this little person that would be her child.

She had no other choice.

She would grieve Stannis and the relationship that they’d had, but she vowed that she wouldn’t fall apart. She would mourn him. She would miss him, but she would move on from him for her baby’s sake. She had another person to think of now and her baby would always become before anyone. Sansa promised herself.

“It will be okay,” she whispered tearfully to the empty room, her hand resting low on her belly. “I promise that everything is going to be okay, sweetheart.”

* * *

**Five Months Later...**

The fall air blew the fallen leaves across the sidewalks and All Hallow’s Eve approached with the promise of games and candies for the children. Fall had once been his favorite time of year. This year was different. Stannis felt like he'd been put through hell and brought back. Next to him, Renly chatted away to Loras on his mobile phone as the town car drove them to Robert's house warming party. His brother’s divorce had been finalized and the first thing Robert had done had been to buy himself a bachelor pad in the most expensive area of King’s Landing. The Red Keep District was impressive with stunning parks and beautiful views of the bay. Even Stannis owned plenty of realty on the bay, but he didn’t buy an impossibly expensive bachelor’s pad that he couldn’t afford. No, he lived in a moderately large apartment overlooking the bay by himself and it was of his own choosing.

Selyse had been convinced that she was pregnant. The blood tests had showed that she was pregnant as did the home pregnancy tests. For a few weeks, the idea of being a father again had excited him and had kept the pain of leaving Sansa at bay. It would only flare up when he did or saw something that reminded him of her. He'd tried to tell himself that he was doing the right thing. Selyse and their children deserved more from him than he'd been giving. Stannis had vowed to try and be a better husband, but a child couldn't fix what was fundamentally wrong with his relationship with Selyse.

As the weeks had progressed, a gut feeling told him that something was wrong. He was a pediatric cardiologist, but he could still remember parts of the obstetrics classes he’d taken in school. Even Davos, his partner at the office had agreed something was odd about Selyse’s symptoms. When they'd gone to the scan at twelve weeks, it had ruined the happy little fantasy that they'd created. There had been nothing on the scan. Her uterus had no evidence of a pregnancy or of there ever being a pregnancy. The doctor had called it a hormonal abnormality or something like that. Selyse's body thought it was pregnant when it wasn't really pregnant. It had broken Selyse all over again and it had freed in him from the commitment of marriage, but he hadn't been able to leave. Selyse had been placed in psychiatric care after threatening to kill herself if the doctor didn't redo the tests and prove that she truly was pregnant.

It had all been a nightmare and every day since, he'd fought the urge to pick the phone up and call Sansa just to hear her voice and beg for forgiveness. Every time he reached for the phone, he thought of their last conversation and leaving her alone in the town house. He thought of her tearfully begging him not leave and he'd put the phone back down. She deserved better than him. It didn't matter that he loved her. He was certain that he'd killed any feelings that she'd had for him. Love wasn't going to fix what he'd screwed up.

He twisted his empty ring finger.

Selyse hadn't gotten better. Instead, she'd been discharged from the psych unit and at home, she'd started drinking and talking nonsense about her Lord of Light needing a sacrifice to produce a viable pregnancy.

For weeks, she'd come home and made his life miserable. At every chance, she'd brought Sansa up and his dirty affair. She'd called it his mid-life crisis and blamed him for their broken relationship. Her anger at the loss of Shireen had been all consuming. She was violent, nasty drunk and soon, it had gotten to be too much to handle. One night, she'd gotten so violent that she'd broken all the mirrors in their penthouse simply so she wouldn’t have to be reminded of him and Shireen.  
Surprisingly, it had been the newly sober Robert who had convinced him that it was okay to walk away from Selyse. He couldn't fix her and heal her loss and grief, only Selyse could do that. Instead, Shireen would have wanted him and Selyse to be happy. It didn't mean they had to be together either. Robert had gotten sober after his divorce and although it had seemed silly at the time, his older brother had suggested therapy.

Divorcing Selyse was surprisingly an easy decision and a freeing one. On the day he signed the papers, Stannis had felt amazingly lighter. His first instinct had been to call Sansa, but he’d forced himself not to. He doubted that she’d even pick up the phone and answer the call. Therapy had not been something he’d ever thought of trying. Going once or twice a week to talk about his feelings sounded as enjoyable as getting his teeth pulled without an anesthetic, but surprisingly he’d agreed to go. What Stannis had found was a safe place to talk about his failed marriage, his failed relationship with Sansa, and a place process and mourn the loss of his only child. In three months, he felt as if he’d made great strides forward. He no longer felt overwhelming guilt at Shireen’s death. He’d done all he could as a father to love her and care for her. As a doctor, he’d found her the best medical care possible. It was just her sickness that had taken her away. There was nothing that anyone could have done to stop it and Stannis now accepted that. Gone were the nightmares and self abuse. Slowly, he was repairing the relationships in his life. He had accepted that he’d have no children in his life. Even his relationships with Tommen and Myrcella had improved. It didn’t hurt so much to see other people with their children. The only person that he hasn’t come face to face with was Sansa.

“Here we are!” Renly said cheerful as the car pulled up to the curb of a great townhouse. It was a stone mammoth that Stannis wasn't certain could really be called a townhouse, more of a town manor. Exiting the car, they walked across the sidewalk and up the twelve large stone steps to the front door and knocked twice before Robert answered the door with a grin on his face and ushered them in with a happy chuckle about how they were late.

“Traffic was a nightmare,” Renly lied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on a hanger that was slipped into a small closet off the foyer. Stannis did the same, not bothering to say that the real reason they were late was because Renly had changed outfits twice. Stannis himself was dressed in his customary two piece suit and dress shirt. The only thing that was missing was his tie. His expensive silver watch that had been a gift from Sansa was still on his wrist. He was certain that the only time that he ever took it off was to shower and sleep. Stannis slipped off the tailored trench coat he was wearing and looked up in surprise when Robert called Ned Stark’s name. Ned appeared a moment later, wiping his wet hands together with a kitchen towel over his shoulder.

"Stannis, Renly,” he said with a smile. “Robert has practically invited everyone. It’s good to see you both.”

Renly gave Ned a quick hug and Stannis shook his hand. His heart was suddenly pounding in his chest as he wondered how much Ned knew. Did Ned know that he and Sansa had been sharing bed for months? That he’d been the one first one to truly sleep with Sansa in every sense of the word? The thought of that night sent shots of pleasure up Stannis’s spine. He hadn’t known that Sansa was a virgin. Twenty-something virgins just didn’t exist and to his surprise, Sansa had defined his belief. He could still remember the spine tingling feeling of slipping into her and feeling how tight she truly was. He quickly pushed the thought away. Now was not the time to thing about such things and he felt as if he had no right to even think about Sansa in such a way. He’d given her up and he had no claim or reason to be back in her life.

“How’s the hospital?” Ned asked with a grin.

“Busy as always,” Stannis murmured back.

“And Davos?”

“Busier than me, sometimes.”

Ned nodded and before he could say more, Catelyn’s head popped out from behind a corner with a frown on her face and a mobile phone pressed to her ear, “Ned, tell Sansa that she’s to put her feet up. I called the doctor’s office and told them what happened and they want to make an appointment and they want her to drink fluid and rest for the next day.”

Before anyone could reply, Catelyn was taken off of hold and was speaking with a receptionist. Stannis kept his face neutral as he reviewed all the reasons in his head why medically, Sansa would need to rest. Was she ill? Had something happened to her that she need intense care? From the way that Catelyn talked on the phone, it sounded like she’d spoken many times with the person on the other end of the phone.

“Come on,” Robert boomed cheerfully. “Let me show you the place. Let’s go, Ned.”

Obediently, Stannis followed Renly, Ned, and Robert through the tour. They were shown the upstairs first. The second floor had three sizable bedrooms, a main bathroom as well as a private master suite that had an impressive master bath and walk in-closet. Just seeing the hanging clothing made Stannis think about Sansa’s closet and the four suits that he’d left behind there. He silently wondered if she’d kept them or tossed them away. Staying at her townhouse as often as he did required having a change of clothing if he was called to hospital and she’d happily made space for him. Stannis could still recall the pleasure he felt at seeing their clothing mingling together.

It obvious that Robert had hired an interior decorator. His older brother didn’t have an ounce of color sense in his body. When Robert dressed himself, Stannis was reminded of Hagrid from Harry Potter going to the Yule Ball with Madam Maxime in the Goblet of Fire. Shireen has loved to watch movies…even towards the end of her short life, she’d enjoyed snuggling up and watching movies. Some of Stannis’s happiest memories with Shireen involved holding her close as they watched a movie together in her narrow hospital bed. The house was decorated in grays and dark blues, colors that Stannis found himself admiring.  
In the basement, a game room as well as an open recreation center took up much of the space as well as live-in quarters for any staff that Robert might employ such as a housekeeper. There was also an area for laundry and a door that led to the backyard where a sizable pool was located. On the main floor, Robert led them to the large kitchen and Stannis’s heart nearly stopped in his chest. Renly walked into his back and the sound caught her attention.

Sansa was standing in the kitchen, a bowl in her hands as well as a wooden spoon. An apron was over her head and her body noticeably curved in a way that a pregnant woman's would. Her auburn locks were tied back in a loose braid down her back and she laughed when a man said something. In an instant, Stannis's fists curled. Some deep, primal instinct reared to the surface and he was ready to fight a man for Sansa. He forced himself to relax when he realized that it was only Ned talking.

"Your mother's sent me to come finish," Ned told her with a kiss on the cheek as he pried the bowl out of her hands. When their eyes met briefly, Stannis saw no trace of the spark that had once been in her eyes when she looked at him. An ache formed in his chest as he watched her.

"I can stand," Sansa protested to Ned with a smile. "I am not some invalid. I'm pregnant, not diseased."

"Tell that to your mother," her father chuckled. "She's still panicked from earlier. She was on the phone with the physician’s office.”

"I felt faint because of not having eaten enough since breakfast, not because I'm fragile," she sighed and relinquished the wooden spoon to Ned. She also slipped off the apron revealing more of her pregnant figure. She couldn't have been more than five months pregnant, but she looked different. Her breasts were fuller, her hips rounder, and he found her insanely attractive. Her hair looked darker as well, but her smile still made his heart race. Catelyn Stark moved and obstructed his view seconds later.

“You’re supposed to be putting your feet up, darling.”

Catelyn wrapped an arm around Sansa’s shoulder and guided her daughter towards the great living room that was off the kitchen and Stannis watched every moment, memorizing everything that Catelyn did and every detail of Sansa. She was beautiful.

"I didn't know that Sansa was pregnant," Renly said with slightly narrowed eyes. Stannis felt his body stiffened as he slipped his hands into his pockets. Renly was the only one who knew that he'd been seeing Sansa privately and it was only because Renly was Sansa's editor and had happened to catch them together one evening at her townhouse. Loras had been thankful in the town car waiting and Renly, by some miracle, hadn't asked any questions later.

"If only I knew the bastard who got her pregnant," Robert chuckled as he slapped both of them on the shoulders. "I'd beat the living shit out of him."

"What?" Stannis asked, feeling light headed and distracted by the sight of Sansa. Mentally, he was trying to do the math and desperate to try and think of a time that they'd been careless with contraception. They had always been careful or so, he thought. Sansa had taken the pill religiously and he'd always made certain to use a condom.

"She was seeing some guy for a year or so. I don't know what the bastard's name is, but he's out of the picture and she won't tell Ned or Catelyn anything about the father. All I know is that the bastard went back to his wife and kids and that's all Sansa told Ned and Cat about the matter. She's been quiet about the whole thing," Robert explained. “Let’s go sit with her so she’s not alone.”

The entire house so far looked like it had been taken out of some interior design magazine and in many ways, reminded Stannis of Sansa's home. The sectional couch was 'L' shaped and done completely in leather. Sansa was sitting in the corner of the sectional with a pillow behind her back and a pillow under feet. Robert sat by her feet and Renly sat by the arm of the couch leaving Stannis to sit tensely between Renly and Sansa. He knew that Renly had done it on purpose, but he forced himself to relax as Catelyn worked around him. Sansa hadn’t even turned her he’d to acknowledge him and Stannis felt as though he didn’t even deserve her regard. His hands were sweaty with nerves and his heart pounded in his chest at their proximity to one another. Walking out her front door that night had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done and forcing himself to live with the knowledge that he’d never see her again had nearly killed him. Now, Stannis didn’t know what to say or how to act around her.

“I still think that it might have something to do with that crazy Ramsey Bolton," Catelyn stated as she grabbed a blanket and opened it, covering Sansa's lap and legs quickly. “You should come back to Winterfell where your father and I can look after you and make sure that your safe, darling.”

"It has nothing to do with Ramsey," Sansa protested as she allowed her mother to fret over her. "I'm fine. I'm safe. We both are. Loras wouldn't let anything happen to me. Besides, feeling light headed has nothing to do with the other problem.”

Catelyn didn’t look convinced, “What if you get dizzy in the shower? Who will help you if, God forbid, you fall?”

“I won’t fall,” Sansa promised as she reached for her mother’s hands and squeezed them gently. “It’s perfectly safe for me to live on my own. I’m okay.”  
Catelyn clutched her daughter’s hand tightly and examined her features closely until the sound of the fire alarm going off in the kitchen caught her attention. Ned was clearly making trouble in the kitchen.

“Promise to call if you need something. You’re supposed to be resting, Sansa,” Catelyn murmured softly. Faithfully, Sansa promised and it took Robert’s promise as well as that he would get Sansa anything she needed to give Catelyn enough confidence that it was alright to walk away from her daughter and return to making food in the kitchen for the late afternoon meal they would be having.

Stannis said nothing as Robert quickly struck up conversation. If Loras was involved it must be a serious problem…whoever this Ramsey Bolton. Loras owned his own crisis firm and investigated anything from infidelities to stalking incidents and occasionally, Loras provided high profile persons with security measures. For Sansa to have involved Loras personally…it was serious and Stannis had an overwhelming need to know who Ramsey Bolton was and what kind of problem Sansa was having. For Catelyn to be concerned that Sansa was living in alone made his own protective instincts skip into overprotective mode before reality slammed into him.  
He had no rights to know about the situation. He’d terminated his relationship with Sansa and from the way she was ignoring him, she didn’t want him back.

“Have you found out if you’re having a boy or girl?” Robert asked the question caught Stannis’s attention as he held his breath until his lungs were burning.

"I'm not sure, Robert," Sansa confessed with a slight smile on her face as her fingertips traced a pattern all their own over her growing belly. "I want to be surprised."

"Surprises are overrated,” Rober chortled and Stannis supposed his brother was an authority on surprises. "Have you felt it move yet?"

"For some reason, your future godchild likes to run a marathon between four and nine in the morning."

Stannis said nothing, but the new information was tucked away in the back of his mind. He felt regret that he'd already missed that moment with Sansa. He'd been so intent on being there for every important moment for his child that he had already missed important moments. In his defense, Sansa hadn't told him that he was a father. And a small part of him told himself not to be presumptuous, he might not be the father and that's why she hadn't told him. He had never been so conflicted in his life. The thought sent pain everywhere and he nearly flinched. A part of him wanted to demand Robert and Renly leave the room so that he could confront Sansa. The other part wanted to simply stare at her and know that he had conceived a child with her.

For the next hour, he sat listening and watching Sansa talk animatedly with Robert and Renly. She had hinted to Renly that she'd been writing something and his brother had been ecstatic at the possibility. Just watching her made him remember how easy it had been to fall in love with her. How he'd met her when she'd been visiting Rickon after his heart surgery...

She'd been the first person to make him feel alive again after Shireen's death. She'd welcomed him into her arms and bed without any expectations and it had been what he needed. She'd been his escape, his safe place to be without fear. In a few months, it had gone from simply meeting in hotel rooms to helping her pick out her first home. He'd played a part in helping her find her townhouse. He'd left the hospital at lunch to meet her on days that she wanted to see a townhouse.  
He'd gone from simply wanting to sleep with her to wanting a life with her and in one night, he'd stupidly ruined it. He'd been vulnerable and Selyse had been emotional and it had been a disaster. The sex had been uncomfortable, his estranged wife crying the entire time and he'd hardly been able to finish. He'd been dumbfounded when Selyse had told him that she was pregnant again and his own desires to have a child had overridden all common sense. He was bloody doctor, Stannis told himself. He should have looked into Selyse's symptoms. He could have saved them all the drama and the headache if he had.

It was a little after four in the afternoon when Sansa stood and announced that she was too tired to stay for the meal and Catelyn frowned as she came back to the living from the kitchen. Other guests would be arriving soon and she didn't want to be rude and leave in the middle of the party. It was Ned's hand on his wife's shoulders that stopped her from saying anything. Sansa slipped on her fleece coat and seeing his chance, he followed her out the door. Standing on the sidewalk, Stannis watched her walk towards the hired town car that he knew was hers. She had the door half opened when he called her name and jogged down the steps of Robert's townhouse. Sansa stood waiting for him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"When is the baby due?" He asked, half desperate to reach out and touch her.

"In a few months. Why?"

"I am the father."

"Yes," Sansa said blankly as her arms hung limply beside her. There was no emotion in her eyes and this was not the moment that Stannis had ever imagined having with her. He'd always thought that they'd be married a few years before they tried to start a family. Sansa hadn't been sure if she'd wanted children and now...nature had made the decision for them and he didn't know what to do.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stannis demanded, suddenly feeling anger. He wanted to shake her and kiss her at the same time. He felt deprived of something, he deserved the right to know that he was going to be a father. It didn't matter that he'd hit the self-destruct button on their relationship, he'd still had a right to know that they had created a life together.

"You left me or did you forget?" she snapped at him. "You don't get to be the victim. You walked out even when I told you I had something important to tell you. You walked out, not me. You chose to stay with Selyse after you told me time and time again that you would leave her. I was a fool to ever believe anything that you said."

"Sansa-"

"I should say thank you," she breathed as she stood on the street with the car door opened. "You've taught me more than anything or anyone could. I'll be a better mother because of it. I'll raise a son to be far better than his father. He'll benefit from all the lessons I've had to learn in the aftermath of you breaking my heart. Thank you, Stannis. You should go back to the party."

Without another word, Sansa slipped into the back of the town car and closed the door. Moments later, the car's driver was pulling into traffic and it disappeared around the corner. Stannis stood on the curb for several minutes before he turned around to see Jon Stark, Ned's son, standing on the curb with a half empty water bottle in his hand.

"What are you doing out here?"

Jon held up his iphone and shook it slightly in between his fingers, "Phone call for work."

He'd forgotten that Jon was an on-call surgical resident in his last year. They worked at the same hospital and Jon had actually scrubbed in to assist him with a few surgeries, but he didn’t know the man that well. Stannis nodded after a moment and clenched his fists again.

"How much did you hear?" He demanded hoarsely.

"Enough," Jon sighed and slipped his phone back into his jean's pocket. "I won't say anything to anyone if that's what you're worried about. Sansa...she's going to be a good mother. I wouldn't cause her any heart ache. She seems to have her life figured out."

Stannis said nothing as he stood, waiting for Jon to say something else. He was right. Sansa would be a good mother...to her son. That was what she'd said, she was having a boy in a few months. The sharp pain in his chest was unbearable. Was that what she'd wanted to tell him the night he'd told her about Selyse supposedly being pregnant? God, if he’d known that she was pregnant…she'd asked him not to leave them and he'd thought she'd been talking about their relationship. He hadn't realized that she was asking him not to leave her and their child.

"Stannis," Jon called over his shoulder. "Sansa's nursery theme is elephants. A stuffed elephant might get you points...maybe enough points that she'll actually talk to you. Just a thought."

Stannis nodded and entered the townhouse again, entirely unsure of what to do now that he knew he was going to truly be a father again.

He doubted that Sansa would let him back into her life or the child’s…she’d seemed so resolute about not needing him and he realized that it hurt far more than anything else.

He hadn't just lost her. He'd lost both of them. He'd lost the woman he loved and their child...

* * *

Link: <https://www.pinterest.com/Hope4thehopeless/>

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I should be working on my other story, but this one wouldn't leave me alone...sorry.  
> I love Pinterest and I made a little board! Feel free to check it out using the links above and below! Thanks for reading! See you soon! 
> 
> Link: https://www.pinterest.com/Hope4thehopeless/


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